Thursday, August 20, 2009

Shaking the glitter off...

Editor's Note: This post should not be taken as complaining, bitching, etc. I really just need to get some things out of my head and on to the internet.

When you spend 18+ months of your life paying attention to every detail of your wedding day, do not let the last two days prior to the wedding wear you down.


Otherwise you may end up telling your reception coordinator that fanning the dinner napkins in the water glasses is completely fine--something you would never do! Which in turn will make you miserable every time you look at your photos and all you see is napkins. Not the flowers you paid for, not the table numbers your parents worked so hard on, and not the fabric centerpieces that your aunt hand sewed. Only a sea of tables, chairs, and napkins. Sigh.

Its been a little over a month since the wedding and try as I might, I can't help but focus on the things I wish had been different. Don't get me wrong, this was absolutely the best day of my life and also the best wedding I've ever been to--although I am a bit biased. But, there are a few things that I KEEP dwelling on, and I wonder how long it will take me to get over them. I realize these things don't matter in the grand scheme of things, because everything else was perfect. The weather could not have been better, the DJ gave us the best dance party ever, our guests had the time of their lives, and we were both just so elated the whole day. So I wonder, why can't I stop thinking about them? I think perhaps if I get them out into the universe, I might feel better about it?

This is a little backwards, usually people talk about the great stuff first. But I think I need to get past these pesky "regrets," I guess you could call them, first.

So, we covered the napkins. That sucked and I feel like it totally changed the feeling of the room from more whimsical and fun to more "old school banquet hall." Of any mistakes they could have made, they didn't make the mistake of not putting the napkins in the glasses.

I guess I can start from the beginning for the rest.

1) From the very beginning, I was pretty set of not seeing Sean before the ceremony. We didn't have too many really traditional things throughout the day, but this was one that I wanted to keep. I feel like it was a big mistake. I thought that it would be cool to wait to see each other and I also felt like I was going to be "rushed" to get ready if we took photos beforehand. I was wrong. Although I did enjoy the time spent with my bridesmaids, etc. in the suite while we were all getting our makeup done, etc., I feel like the time that I could have spent taking photos with Sean and even taking photos outside with my bridesmaids would have been well worth while. The time after the ceremony FLEW by and I feel like these moments would have been nice to have. The only pictures I have of my bridesmaids and single photos of me are in the hotel suite and while my photographer did an amazing job...I think I should have thrown tradition to the side and seen Sean before the big walk down the aisle. I didn't really think about this ahead of time, but there was such a long walk from the hotel to the ceremony aisle, that it wasn't like I had this huge, grand entrance or anything. So, if you're thinking about seeing eachother before, I would say to definitely do so.

2) When you are getting your dress fitted for the bussell, make sure you are wearing the shoes that you will be wearing when the dress gets busselled on the day of. I did not do this, and unfortunately, my feet were KILLING me by cocktail hour so I wanted to wear my flipflops. In hindsight, I should have sucked it up and wore my heels for a little big longer, but I didn't and I spent A LOT of time trying to get my dress bussell pinned up so that it wasn't dragging on the ground. So, lesson here is remember to wear your flats at your fitting if you think your going to change right away and also don't spend too much time caring about things like your dress dragging on the ground when you have a room full of people who you want to talk to. You'll never wear the dress again, but more importantly, you'll never have that hour back in your life.

3) Sometimes, you need to be a bridezilla. Seriously. There are things that I wish I had been WAY more hard nosed about. Mainly when I asked someone--a vendor--for something and then didn't take the time to enforce it. I blame the fact that I'm polite and laid back and also the fact that by the time you have to make all these final decisions you are SO utterly sick of talking to people that all you want to say is "that's fine" or "I really don't care." BUT DON'T DO IT! Do exactly what you want and make sure you get what you are plopping down your hard earned money for!

4) The cake cutting. What a disaster. We wanted to cut the cake right after we walked in to the reception room during our grand entrance. In my mind, I pictured us walking in and up to the front of the room to cut the cake. What really happened was...the cake was all the way in the back of the room about 50 paces after we walked in. In fact, I was so surprised that it was back there that I walked right past it! Our parents and VIP tables were up in the front of the room and they had no idea what was even going on. It felt very rushed and the woman who was the banquet manager kept standing next to us to "show" us how to cut the cake. Very, very bizarre. Also, there were no forks or napkins. The "helpful" woman kept trying to get me to wipe my frosting filled hands on one of the extra fabric squares that my aunt made for our table decorations. "That's not a napkin" were the words that repeatedly came out of my mouth. That and "there are no forks?!?" So, in hindsight, we should have just did our grand entrance and then cut the cake later. That way if I saw it in the back, I could have asked them to move it forward.

5) Last thing about the cake, I promise. We had a very small cake for cutting--6 inches--and yellow, pink and orange cupcakes for our guests. I asked the reception place to please place some cupcakes around the cake so that it didn't look so meager when we were cutting it. For some god awful reason, they chose the yellow and orange frosted chocolate cupcakes as opposed to the pretty yellow and pink frosted vanilla cupcakes! Not what I was looking forward to at all. Lesson in this one, again...make sure you say EXACTLY what you want. I didn't think I had to be that specific because my coordinator assured me that he was very detail oriented. But, your preference may not be the same, remember that.

6) Right after the "dance triology" as I like to call it, the DJ invited everyone to the dance floor to dance. Sean and I went our separate ways to each greet guests, etc. and I noticed that the DJ was playing a lot of slow songs all in a row. Well instead of asking him to spread them out, I figured he would play some more throughout the night. He did not. I know why he didn't, because we really wanted to have the "dance party" feel to the reception, but it turned out that my Mom and Dad never got to dance because when all the slow songs were playing, they were greeting guests after dinner, etc. Sean and I also never got another slowdance on the dance floor. We danced together a lot! But I wish I had said something to the DJ about the slow songs early in the night. If you see or feel something that you don't like, say something about it. Because even though people like to tell you that "you won't remember any of it" or "it won't matter after the day" but, most likely if you are reading wedding blogs, it will matter to you.

So, these are my main "I wish it had been different" regrets. Like I said, all things that are not really comparable in the grand scheme of things. But I had to get it off my chest and this is the best space to do so. And after listing them all, they still matter, but not as much...because I realize that even though these things all happened, the day actually was perfect.

Perfect because my life changed forever on that day and every single person I could have ever wished to be in one room together was.

Perfect because my Mom was there with me all day long and got to see all her hard work come together.

Perfect because my Dad walked me down the aisle.

Perfect because my bridesmaids were beautiful and our groomsmen looked extremely cool.

And lastly, perfect because I married the best dude I've ever known and all the perfect napkin folds, or frosting colors, or cake cuttings in the world couldn't ever top saying our vows and dancing under twinkle lights and paper lanterns to the only slow song that mattered.

Ours.